Fear of Clowns, Chickens, and Other Phobias….

I was dozing on the bed yesterday, with the television on, when all of a sudden a clown came on the screen.  I mean a real CLOWN.   Not someone you call a clown, but a colorful circus type clown.  It scared me.  I could not go back to sleep.  In fact, the vision would not leave my brain all night last night.  It was not a restful night for me.  This leads me to wonder, how many other people are disturbed or upset by seeing clowns?  So, today I did a bit of research.  Did you know that there is a “condition” for the fear of clowns?  No laughing now.  It is called “Coulrophobia.”  Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns.  I have NO doubts that I have that condition.  I SERIOUSLY have that condition.  There are therapists that will treat you for that.  How would they do that I wonder?  Would you have to attend a lot of circuses?  Are there even circuses going around anymore? There’s clowns for hire in the phonebook.  Would you have to hire one to come to your house?  Boy, that could get expensive.  Tuesdays and Thursdays,  you pay to see a therapist.   Saturdays, you pay for a clown to make a house call.  I have been wanting to write a book.  Maybe this is what I should write about?  “How to Cure Yourself of Coulrophobia in 30 Days.”  A self-help handbook.  I could put pictures of clowns in it, just not in the first 3 or 4 chapters.  Definitely NOT on the cover.  A big clown face on the front would scare off potential buyers.  They’d never get inside the cover!   I could do a whole series of these self-help books.  There’s “Dentophobia,” fear of the dentist  (I have that, everybody has that!).  “Agorophobia,” includes fear of elevators (you know any cats who like elevators?!).  “Aviophobia,” fear of flying (I definitely have that!).  “Trypanophobia,” fear of shots and needles (ask my vetrinarian how I feel about that one!).  “Arachnophobia,” fear of spiders (many people have this, but I view spiders as little toys).  I found out that more than 19 million Americans have at least 1 type of phobia.   Phobias are brought on due to genetics, brain chemistry, and traumatic events.  A phobia starts as a fear.  When the fear causes stress, interferes with your life, or becomes excessive, it is a phobia.  “Alektorophobia” is fear of chickens (if you know anything about me, you would know that is a phobia I do NOT have!).  I do, however, have “Lack-of-Alektoro-Phobia.”  I become very fearful when there is no chicken in my bowl at dinner time.   In fact, that is what I should write a book about and make sure the people who feed me get the FIRST copy…………..more later……….T.W.

My Friend “Piglet”

Today, I am paying tribute to my funny friend, Piglet.  Piglet recently left for “kitty heaven.”  While there is nothing funny about losing a loved one, you can look back and remember the humorous times.

Piglet lived in a trailer, in a trailer park, on the Oregon coast. Piglet loved to sit in the window, facing the ocean, next to a warm computer.  Piglet would sit there for HOURS “people watching.”  Piglet also liked to escape because he loved the “thrill of the chase.”  That would be, everyone chasing HIM.  He would always return, when HE felt like it.  It was not like Piglet would go very far.  Afterall, he lived right across the street from a huge body of water, the Pacific Ocean.  But Piglet was always looking for opportunity.  When he did escape, he always came next door for a visit.  Piglet liked “the woman” as she would always go up to his window and talk to the “Piggy.”  Once, “the woman” left her front door ajar, and the escaped “Piggy” came over, snuck in undetected, and made his way back to the bedroom.  Once back there, he let out a LOUD hello.  The scream he got in response sent him back out the door at about 85 miles per hour.   He then went under her place and stayed out of reach for over an hour, causing everyone to stand around waiting for him to come out.  Luckily, it was a nice day.  Maybe Piglet did not get enough “mad dashes” in his life, or did not get as much exercise living in a smaller space.   Regardless, diabetes can be very mean to a cat.

Well, Piglet, my friend, I hope wherever you are, you have a cozy window seat with the sun smiling on you, and a beautiful view.  Save ME a spot!………more later………T.W.

Working With What You’ve Got…

Don’t you just love the bright and shiney things this time of year?  I do!  Tinsel.  Cellophane curling ribbon, ornaments, strands of miniture lights.  All kinds of things that could potentially harm me (a cat), or even a dog, why discriminate? Well, yesterday I discovered a new thing to add to the list.  Thumbtacks.  I discovered a box of 150 bright, shiney, gold, sharp thumbtacks.  And so I thought.  I gave it a lot of thought.  “I think these thumbtacks would look great scattered all over the kitchen floor,” my thoughts were telling me.  Gold on white.  A white faux ceramic tile floor.  Boring, especially non-festive for this time of year.  Some shiney gold things would spruce it up and make it sparkle for the holidays. It is amazing the holiday decorating you can do with what’s available to you………….more later…………….T.W.

Late Arrival…..

“The woman” LIKES to arrive late.  Not inappropriately late, but “fashionably” late.  When she meets friends on weekends, she IS the last one to show up, but she never “commits” to an arrival time.  She can not sit too long, due to her back, is partly why.  For appointments, she is punctual.  She is aware that when she has an appointment, she is on someone else’s time.  “The woman” is considerate that way.  So, the other day, it was thirty minutes before she was suppose to meet someone, and the person texts,  “I am here, where are you?”   “The woman” calls and says:   “I am someplace nearby,  and I will be there at the appointment time, which is 3:15.  It is now 2:45.”   The friend says:  “Well, just checking, because you are ALWAYS late!”   “The woman” is immediately bristling.  (I got a call about it before she even got home.)  So she calls the friend back, thinking she is “calling him on his comment.”   “The woman”:  “I am NOT always late.” Friend:  “When ARE you on time?”   Her:  “When it is important.”   Friend:  “What’s important?, WHAT IS IMPORTANT to you?”   Her:  (long, long pause)   Friend:  “Well?”   Her:  “I’m thinking.”  Friend:  “See!”   Her:  “Nothing.”   Friend:  “What?”   Her:  “Nothing.  Nothing is that important to me.”   Him:  “I rest my case!”   “The woman”  walks through the door as the friend is hanging up the phone.   They then sit and wait 20 minutes for their appointment to begin……….more later………..T.W.

How My Life Resembles a Frying Pan…

This is how my life resembles a frying pan:  

1)  I am usually kept in the dark;

2)  Sometimes people over use me;

3)  Sometimes people leave me alone for days or weeks;

4)  Sometimes they stick it to me;

5)  Sometimes things go smooth;

6)  Sometimes people really heat me up;

7)  Sometimes they turn the heat on low and expect

      me to immediately respond; 

8)  Sometimes I get blasted with scalding hot water;

9)  Sometimes I am left to soak;

10)  Sometimes I feel scrubbed raw;

11)  Sometimes I feel dirtily shoved away;

12)  I have been told I have a “cast iron” heart at times;

I really feel I am teflon; nothing sticks to me!…………more later…….T.W.

Present Company Included

What a beautiful sun-filled day! Spring is surely almost here, and summer not far behind.  Days like today make me want to do positive things like go outside (in my pet stroller), and visit my neighbors.  The time for barbeques and get togethers in the  warm weather is almost at hand.  SHOULD BE a fun-filled time.  Visiting and catching up with people that you have not spent much time with since the weather changed last fall, and we all went in to hibernation.  In my drousy state from my window perch, I overheard a conversation regarding just that.  A 60th birthday party is planned in May for someone “the woman” has helped through 3 surgeries  involving major cancer,  a change in residence (the 4-week “move from hell”),  and a bankruptcy, all in the past 17 months.  Back and forth from her home to his, 2-1/2 hours away.  She has done the commute to take him to the surgeries, doctor appointments, grocery shopping, and anything else he needed as he can not drive.  She has stayed with him through all the weeks of recovery.  One might think she is worthy of an invite.  The plans are being made for the family event, but apparently there will be no invitation forth coming, with no explanation as to exactly why.   Her friend, who passed away a year ago, always told her, “When you invite one person in a group, you invite them all.  NO exceptions.  If you are not inviting someone because “you” think they are a problem, they probably already KNOW you think they are a problem, they are not brain-dead.  Invite them anyway, they probably will not attend.  It is ABOUT the invitation.”  The “courtesy” of the invitation, if you ask me.  Hurt feelings are horrible things to carry around.  I have always been a chubby kitty.   People will remark on it, thinking I can not hear them.  “The Kitty Katy” is a tiny petite thing.  If you were picking teams for a volleyball game (for cats), both sides would want her.  I would be the last one picked.  I think you get the picture.  I have done my time carrying the backpack of hurt feelings around.  What I don’t get is—how can the other attendees at a gathering enjoy themselves, knowing someone is DEVASTATED at being left out?  I try to NOT put anyone on the receiving end of my poor behavior.  Over my shoulder, as this is being typed, the soon-to-be 60 year old is asking, “Who are you sticking it to now?”  The response he got was:  “Anyone and everyone, if the shoe fits wear it.  Present company included.”……………more later…………..T.W.   

(This entry dedicated to my friend:  “cupcake.”   Hugs…)

Just Goes To Show Ya…

“The woman” finally had her appointment with the tax man.  Lots of worrying, loss of sleep, and stomach upset for a full two weeks before hand. All because she let someone’s comment get in her head.  It was one of those “the glass is half empty”  type comments.  “The woman” always tries to see the “glass” as half  full.  It is easier that way.   Life is hard enough.  (Well, not as hard if you are me, a really cute cat.   Let’s face it, I’ve got it pretty darn good!)  Have you ever noticed though, that if you think about something a certain way, and think about it hard enough, that it starts to take shape.  You become the creator of something, either good OR bad.  So someone planted the seed with “the woman.”  “You are in a different tax bracket this year, it won’t be good, you’ll have to pay probably thousands of dollars, yadda-yadda-yadda.”  It brewed, it festered, it grew legs.  She was starting to simmer in her own juices, just like a crockpot!  Thank goodness for cable television for those sleepless nights like the one the night before the appointment.  (I view watching television as a mini-vacation from my brain.)   So, “the woman” spends two hours with the tax man, who she jokingly refers to as “her new bestfriend” (B.F.F.).   She came out of the appointment more upset with herself than anyone else.  She knows better than to obsessively worry over something, when she has no idea how it will turn out. Instead of paying thousands, she’s getting back enough for ten days in Hawaii.  Just goes to show ya, the glass IS half full.

Note To Self…

“Be Gracious, Bring Out the Best In Others.”  How come that is hard, at times, to live by?  More often than not, other “beings” just annoy the hell out of me.  (Not a swear word to me, as I believe it to be a destination.)  I get annoyed by bad behavior, things being changed, and “the Kitty Katy” walking around like an “idgit” meowing to herself.   I walked by the bathroom and she was sitting in the tub talking to herself, not even five minutes ago.  It is real hard to be gracious and bring out the best in that one.   I suppose I really should make an effort coz I think she has an expiration date.   I have decided that I should have a daily list to read every morning when I get up.  Something to read and refresh myself with while “the woman” is making us “gluten-free” toast (a new and unwanted “change”).   This will be my daily “refresher course,” if you will…..

                                       NOTE TO SELF:

1)  Be Grateful For What I Have 

2)  What You Put Out Will Return to You

3)  “When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them” (Oprah)

4)  “Be Gracious, Bring Out the Best In Others”

5)  “We Must Try to Contribute Joy to the World” (Roger Ebert)

6)  “When All Else Fails, Read Dr. Seuss”  (yours truly)

7)  “Don’t Pivot On the Edge”   (yours truly)

8)  “Some People Are Shits Darling”   (Walter S. Burroughs) 

I will probably have to revise my list as the need arises OR my attitude changes……..more later………..T.W.

It’s That Time of Year….

It’s that time of year.   Spring is starting to “spring” and so are the bugs.  “The woman here” comes home from a week at the beach, and tells me about the big “ant infestation” she had while she was there.  “The woman” got up one morning to discover a piece of shredded carrot being swarmed.  Yuck.  Why do I need to hear this?  I did not go to the coast.  I was stuck here in the house.  Not that I am overly anxious to dip my toes in salt water or get sand between my toes.  So she gets to go to the beach, she needs to put up with a little inconvenience,  for cat’s sake.  In the big scheme of things, what are a thousand ants?  I had fleas once in the six years of my existence, and I can tell you that was no “day at the beach.”   So I digressed from “the story.”  “The woman” decides to try a different approach rather than risk any health dangers by using sprays or bombs.  She read somewhere in  a magazine recently that you could use “20 Mule Team” borax laundry soap/booster mixed with something to kill the ants.  (Of course you can never find the torn out article when you need it.)  The ants eat this bait and take it home to their nests.  Poof!  Bye bye ants!  The problem is, “the woman” can not remember what it is you are suppose to mix with the borax.  So she made up little plates with the borax on them.  She added baking soda to some, white granulated sugar to the others.  Sounds like she was making a buffet to me.  So no word as to whether or not it worked.  Her friend living there has not been able to tell.  However, one thing she does know,  when you first discover you’ve got the ants, spraying hairspray on them sure can make the floor STICKY.  Oh, did I leave that part out?  He-he-he……..More later………….T.W.

Resistant to Change…

Well,  I am getting older, that is “fur” sure.  (No pun intended.)  It is winter, and the ol’ fur coat is not filling in as thick as it used to.  I can’t wait to get to “the Kitty Katy’s” age.  (Not!) She looks like a bag of bones in a thin hair tarp.  Yes, I know I am not very complimentary.  I do not feel complimentary.  I feel cranky.  The holidays may be over,  but I just went through a cold spell here with my “blog paw” keeping me from doing what I have newly discovered that I like to do.  Is it that way with you?  You find something new and BAM!  You cannot get enough of it!  And then,  life takes over for a minute, and slows you down.  I have also newly discovered that I am resistant to change.  I don’t know if it’s an age thing,  or a gender thing.   “The Kitty Katy” likes change.  One week her favorite spot is on the dryer.  The next week,  it is behind a table.  Two weeks later, it is under the bed.  Then it is on a bedroom chair.  (If I couldn’t smell her, I couldn’t locate her.)  I”m not like that.  I will spend all day (which was yesterday) trying to push open the closet door to get out the toy fishing pole.  But I expect the fishing pole to be there.  Don’t go changing it up on me,  damn it!  There’s been talk about “the woman here” and her old habits. Apparently, she changed the furniture around on a bi-monthly basis.   Thank goodness no one living here was blind then.  Maybe that’s why  “the old Kitty Katy” is moving “her spot” a few times a month.  In her mind, she is staying ahead of the furniture……….more later……..T.W.