Posts Tagged ‘personal’

Fear of Clowns, Chickens, and Other Phobias….

May 2, 2011

I was dozing on the bed yesterday, with the television on, when all of a sudden a clown came on the screen.  I mean a real CLOWN.   Not someone you call a clown, but a colorful circus type clown.  It scared me.  I could not go back to sleep.  In fact, the vision would not leave my brain all night last night.  It was not a restful night for me.  This leads me to wonder, how many other people are disturbed or upset by seeing clowns?  So, today I did a bit of research.  Did you know that there is a “condition” for the fear of clowns?  No laughing now.  It is called “Coulrophobia.”  Coulrophobia is the fear of clowns.  I have NO doubts that I have that condition.  I SERIOUSLY have that condition.  There are therapists that will treat you for that.  How would they do that I wonder?  Would you have to attend a lot of circuses?  Are there even circuses going around anymore? There’s clowns for hire in the phonebook.  Would you have to hire one to come to your house?  Boy, that could get expensive.  Tuesdays and Thursdays,  you pay to see a therapist.   Saturdays, you pay for a clown to make a house call.  I have been wanting to write a book.  Maybe this is what I should write about?  “How to Cure Yourself of Coulrophobia in 30 Days.”  A self-help handbook.  I could put pictures of clowns in it, just not in the first 3 or 4 chapters.  Definitely NOT on the cover.  A big clown face on the front would scare off potential buyers.  They’d never get inside the cover!   I could do a whole series of these self-help books.  There’s “Dentophobia,” fear of the dentist  (I have that, everybody has that!).  “Agorophobia,” includes fear of elevators (you know any cats who like elevators?!).  “Aviophobia,” fear of flying (I definitely have that!).  “Trypanophobia,” fear of shots and needles (ask my vetrinarian how I feel about that one!).  “Arachnophobia,” fear of spiders (many people have this, but I view spiders as little toys).  I found out that more than 19 million Americans have at least 1 type of phobia.   Phobias are brought on due to genetics, brain chemistry, and traumatic events.  A phobia starts as a fear.  When the fear causes stress, interferes with your life, or becomes excessive, it is a phobia.  “Alektorophobia” is fear of chickens (if you know anything about me, you would know that is a phobia I do NOT have!).  I do, however, have “Lack-of-Alektoro-Phobia.”  I become very fearful when there is no chicken in my bowl at dinner time.   In fact, that is what I should write a book about and make sure the people who feed me get the FIRST copy…………..more later……….T.W.

My Friend “Piglet”

May 2, 2011

Today, I am paying tribute to my funny friend, Piglet.  Piglet recently left for “kitty heaven.”  While there is nothing funny about losing a loved one, you can look back and remember the humorous times.

Piglet lived in a trailer, in a trailer park, on the Oregon coast. Piglet loved to sit in the window, facing the ocean, next to a warm computer.  Piglet would sit there for HOURS “people watching.”  Piglet also liked to escape because he loved the “thrill of the chase.”  That would be, everyone chasing HIM.  He would always return, when HE felt like it.  It was not like Piglet would go very far.  Afterall, he lived right across the street from a huge body of water, the Pacific Ocean.  But Piglet was always looking for opportunity.  When he did escape, he always came next door for a visit.  Piglet liked “the woman” as she would always go up to his window and talk to the “Piggy.”  Once, “the woman” left her front door ajar, and the escaped “Piggy” came over, snuck in undetected, and made his way back to the bedroom.  Once back there, he let out a LOUD hello.  The scream he got in response sent him back out the door at about 85 miles per hour.   He then went under her place and stayed out of reach for over an hour, causing everyone to stand around waiting for him to come out.  Luckily, it was a nice day.  Maybe Piglet did not get enough “mad dashes” in his life, or did not get as much exercise living in a smaller space.   Regardless, diabetes can be very mean to a cat.

Well, Piglet, my friend, I hope wherever you are, you have a cozy window seat with the sun smiling on you, and a beautiful view.  Save ME a spot!………more later………T.W.

That Annual Holiday Letter…

November 28, 2010

Well, it has been awhile!  I have just been uninspired the last few months.  A case of the “doldrums.”   Luckily, I have snapped out of it just in time for the hustle and bustle of the “season of brotherly love.”  (I am keeping out religious overtones–you will understand this statement when you read on.)  So a couple of days after Thanksgiving, I am thinking time to at least say something.  Scanning the newspaper for inspiration, I saw an article on how to write those annual ‘form’ letters some of you send out either with your Christmas card, or cheaper yet, alone or via e-mail.   “The Oregonian”  article said that your letter should be a treat.  Seriously, for REAL? (heh, heh, heh)  Here is what is suggested your letter should contain:  1) The Date (duh);   2) Be Genuine and Stay Upbeat (I guess saying “Times are Tough, Times are Hard, Here’s Your F-ing Christmas Card” is out?);   3) Keep Detail to a Minimum (I agree with that.   I know you are a great  grandmother  BUT do I need to hear about it even more at Christmas? Most definitely NOT. THANK YOU.  I do not talk about my fleas.  I do not need to hear that “Johnny” is getting “Matchbox: Stinky the Garbage Truck” for Christmas and that you stood in line 2 hours at Wal-Mart to get it for $49.  My fleas are way more interesting, purrsonally;   4) Use Humor and Self Deprecation.  (That’s hilarious.  While some of  “the woman’s”  friends are funny, they would never think of putting themselve’s down.  Are ya kidding me?);   5) Use a Conversational Tone.  (This blog is a good example of that, don’t you think?);   6) Hit Highlights Without Bragging. (For example, “I like vodka with cranberry juice but have discovered that if I drink too much, I can projectile vomit from 8-feet.  That is doorway to toilet without a miss.”  That is an example of what NOT to say;    7) Keep Out the Religious Overtones. (Probably should not have followed the “vomit” topic with this one, but I am going in order.  I am thankful for my God, but i do not preach this.  I leave folks up to their own beliefs and their own relationship with what they deem as their higher power.  I don’t even know what I don’t even know so why would I expound on telling anyone else what they should be doing;   8) Add a Personal Note, an Excellent Way to Close your Letter. 

Here is my Purrsonal Note:

May this season find you well.  May this season find you happy.  Try to find one thing to like about, and give compliment to, someone else.  Do at least one nice thing this next year to make a difference in someone else’s life.  And lastly, because I, myself, am a mischief-maker, if you can not be good, at least be VERY good at being bad!  Happy Holidays………..T.W.

Note To Self…

March 3, 2010

“Be Gracious, Bring Out the Best In Others.”  How come that is hard, at times, to live by?  More often than not, other “beings” just annoy the hell out of me.  (Not a swear word to me, as I believe it to be a destination.)  I get annoyed by bad behavior, things being changed, and “the Kitty Katy” walking around like an “idgit” meowing to herself.   I walked by the bathroom and she was sitting in the tub talking to herself, not even five minutes ago.  It is real hard to be gracious and bring out the best in that one.   I suppose I really should make an effort coz I think she has an expiration date.   I have decided that I should have a daily list to read every morning when I get up.  Something to read and refresh myself with while “the woman” is making us “gluten-free” toast (a new and unwanted “change”).   This will be my daily “refresher course,” if you will…..

                                       NOTE TO SELF:

1)  Be Grateful For What I Have 

2)  What You Put Out Will Return to You

3)  “When Someone Shows You Who They Are, Believe Them” (Oprah)

4)  “Be Gracious, Bring Out the Best In Others”

5)  “We Must Try to Contribute Joy to the World” (Roger Ebert)

6)  “When All Else Fails, Read Dr. Seuss”  (yours truly)

7)  “Don’t Pivot On the Edge”   (yours truly)

8)  “Some People Are Shits Darling”   (Walter S. Burroughs) 

I will probably have to revise my list as the need arises OR my attitude changes……..more later………..T.W.

It’s That Time of Year….

February 28, 2010

It’s that time of year.   Spring is starting to “spring” and so are the bugs.  “The woman here” comes home from a week at the beach, and tells me about the big “ant infestation” she had while she was there.  “The woman” got up one morning to discover a piece of shredded carrot being swarmed.  Yuck.  Why do I need to hear this?  I did not go to the coast.  I was stuck here in the house.  Not that I am overly anxious to dip my toes in salt water or get sand between my toes.  So she gets to go to the beach, she needs to put up with a little inconvenience,  for cat’s sake.  In the big scheme of things, what are a thousand ants?  I had fleas once in the six years of my existence, and I can tell you that was no “day at the beach.”   So I digressed from “the story.”  “The woman” decides to try a different approach rather than risk any health dangers by using sprays or bombs.  She read somewhere in  a magazine recently that you could use “20 Mule Team” borax laundry soap/booster mixed with something to kill the ants.  (Of course you can never find the torn out article when you need it.)  The ants eat this bait and take it home to their nests.  Poof!  Bye bye ants!  The problem is, “the woman” can not remember what it is you are suppose to mix with the borax.  So she made up little plates with the borax on them.  She added baking soda to some, white granulated sugar to the others.  Sounds like she was making a buffet to me.  So no word as to whether or not it worked.  Her friend living there has not been able to tell.  However, one thing she does know,  when you first discover you’ve got the ants, spraying hairspray on them sure can make the floor STICKY.  Oh, did I leave that part out?  He-he-he……..More later………….T.W.

Caution When Bidding!….

January 29, 2010

So… “the woman here” finally got ME a higher speed internet.  No more dial-up service, yea! But now, she is a computer hog.  Surfing around ALL the time.  I have not minded coz she has been very ill with the flu, twice in 7 weeks.   It gives her something she can do while resting, or so I thought.  It turned out not to be so restful last week.  “The woman” decided she wanted a large Vera Bradley bag in the fabric pattern she already has.  These are beautiful fabric bags in different styles and fabric patterns from wallet size to duffelbags, and backpacks to luggage.  They are yummy AND spendy. However, made very well. Periodically fabric patterns are discontinued, making them hard to find.   So in the course of “us” surfing around, she discovers a bunch of them on e-Bay.  She finds one she wants to bid on, she goes to start the bidding at $2.00.  She types a “2,” when the screen flys to “you’ve bought it now.”  Oh, and for $27.99.  Her fingers did NOT hit a wrong key, she did NOT press a wrong button.  But “Bidder Beware,” she had bought the item!  “The woman” e-mailed the seller immediately as well as e-Bay.  E-Bay responded right away and at first, encouraged her to pay for her purchase.  The seller “Iris,”  responded three days later, after “the woman” kept sending her messages.  Iris’s attitude was “sorry about your luck, you bought it, pay for it.”  In fact, her message said that if “the woman” did not pay her “something” she would put a “mark” against her.  That just makes you want to “cough up” some cash, doesn’t it?  “The woman” contacted the e-Bay Resolution Department and  told them she was starting to get uncomfortable with what was going on.  “Donna”  from e-Bay responded and helped get the situation finally resolved over the course of a week.  ‘The woman” stood firm.  She will not pay $2.00 or $28.00 to ANYONE who threatens to put a “mark” against her good name and/or reputation.  It’s not the money, it’s the principal.    We are glad it was resolved correctly.  And the Vera Bradley bag?  “The woman” bid on another one, won the auction, paid and received it within 3 days.  It was a nice transaction.  And it is a beautiful bag, don’t get me wrong.  But the enthusiasm she displayed when finding one, got quickly replaced with irritation due to someone else’s bad attitude.  Isn’t it funny how that can happen?  Things start out so well…….I told “the woman” next time, buy some quilted fabric and I will help you make one.  I LOVE playing with the little spools of thread.  There is nothing to RESOLVE about that.  More later……….T.W.

How To Have Fun…

January 29, 2010

I am developing a deep appreciation for music  of the 80’s and 90’s (way before my time).  A good evening for me, during these cold winter nights, is to sit on my stool in the kitchen while “the woman” is bopping around doing her food fixing, occasional glass of wine drinking, day-to-day organizing “thing.”   All while listening to music from “The Best Time Of HER Life.”  I have been fed my “nightly acknowledgement” (chicken), so I am basically just hanging out, waiting for the floor show to begin.  It is never a disappointment.  “The woman” cannot carry a tune (to save her life!), but she does know all the words.  AND,  she can “bust a move.”  Last night, she put on a pair of black “Ray Ban” sunglasses.  She scooped me off the stool.   While she was singing, we danced around the kitchen to “I Wear My Sunglasses At Night.”  I would chime in with a squeak and a howl, here and there.  It may not be Vegas Baby, but we know how to have fun………….more later…….T.W.

All Blogged Up and No Where To Go….

January 29, 2010

Well, I got all “blogged up” so-to-speak.  I got over my “blog paw” issue and ready to “rock and roll” again when “the woman here,”  my assistant, came down with the H1N1 “swine” flu.  Actually, she was sick 3 weeks, got well for 8 days, and then got it back again for another 3 weeks.  So due to the flu and it’s complications,  “the woman” was in bed a LONG time, except for a trip to the doctor and a few bathing “experiences.”  I know “the woman” is sick when she does not want to bathe!  Usually, she will not take the trash to the curb without a shower.  Since “the woman” had been helping me through the “blog paw” ordeal,  I thought the least I could do was to take care of her in her time of need.  I stayed next to her on the bed with one paw on her leg for the better part of those several weeks.  I felt every ache and pain, fever and chill, experienced a few sneezes, and suffered through ALL the coughing.  The first few days when all she wanted to do was sleep, I was like velcro.  When she got up to use the restroom, I would go use my box, get a sip of water, and then meet her in the hall.  We would arrive back in bed at the same time.  If someone called, I’d use that time to go downstairs and grab a snack.  If  I thought she was sleeping too long, I’d climb up on the bookcase headboard, lean down, sticking my face in hers, and tap her cheek.  The first time I did that,  I unleashed the greatest “potty-mouth” in the Pacific Northwest.  (It must have been the fever.)  Then there was the day she fell asleep in the bathtub.  She’d been in there awhile,  snoring so loud I figured the deaf  “Kitty Katy” could hear her.  I got up on the ledge of the tub,  reached in, and tapped the top of her leg with my paw.   She almost had a heart attack and I almost had a bath on that one.  That happaned a couple more times, but I meow first so I don’t get wet now.  While I had been laying around and guarding “my patient,”  I had been blogging in my head.  I got  kind of  “all blogged up and no where to go.”  It is nice to get back on track.   I have always been lackadaizacal, but I am learning as I age the value of having an everyday order to things.  I think that might keep me out of trouble…….more later……T. W.

What Makes Me Cranky At Christmas….

January 29, 2010

Yesterday would not have been Christmas without the annual (five Christmas’s running) Christmas photo.  This year involved having a Santa hat tied under my chin with a bow (pure hell) and my having to sit purrfectly still for the snapping of bright lights going off in my face and eyes.  “The Kitty Katy” is “exempt” from this tradition.  (“Exempt” being my new favorite word, see previous blog.)  I will tell you, there is nothing that makes me crankier.  I would rather have my nails trimmed and my ears cleaned.   AND at the same time.  There is always this “delay” with the new cameras.  “The woman” presses the button and I am purrfectly posed, but then the finished picture makes it look like I shook my head.  So snap-snap-snap-snap-snap-snap.  And then she wants the side angle.  And then she wants the “sex-kitten” pose.  WHAT UP?  Take the picture already, or the next pose you get will be the “cranky cat” pose.  I have been purrfecting that one.  I have an excellent role model.  “The Kitty Katy.”   Mrrr-ow……….more later……….T.W.`

When Exempt Becomes Special….

January 29, 2010

I am “exempt.”  I heard “the woman” say that on the phone today.  She just kept repeating herself.  “No, he’s exempt.”  “No, he’s exempt from that too.”  Her voice just kept getting firmer as she kept repeating it.  I like that word “exempt.”  EXEMPT.  It’s like “special.”  Hearing it made me feel “special.”  For a minute, anyway.  Turns out “the woman” was talking to someone at the county animal control office.  Here in our county,  it is the law that you have to license your cats.  You have to have a rabies vaccination to get the license.  Even if you are an indoor cat.  I am an indoor cat.  I react HORRIBLY to the vaccination causing a lot of health drama and expense so my vetrinarian says I am “exempt” from the vaccination.  But when you deal with any bureaucracy,  “exempt” means “special,”  but more like “special case.”  You are bucking the system that is put in place for YOUR own good.  Regardless of how it affects you.  Here’s another word I heard repeated a lot yesterday:  BULLSHIT.  I think I like that word too.   More later…………T.W.