Finding My Joy

It is almost Valentines Day.  I lost my little valentine two years ago. My KittyKaty.  Grief can be a long, hard struggle. Some of us have better coping skills than others. I have finally adjusted to being the only breathing thing in the house who has a tail, OR as some people in the house call it, “the duster.”  It got that name when I dusted under the king sized bed on a particularly LOUD July 4th. Anyway, I digressed. I have been reading books on “separation anxiety and depression.”  None impressive enough to mention, but all information read has some value to it. I think?  And so, I am thinking I need to take steps to find my “joy.”  I used to find it in food.  I was a big eater. I ate anything and everything. Uncooked quick oats, that I would get the lid off the canister on the kitchen counter and scatter all over.  Oatmeal raisin cookies (boy did I get in trouble for that one!).  Unattended popcorn,  cherrios, or toast (cherrios goes back to the oats obsession I have).   Lastly nuts, yogurt, gum, and postage stamps (loved licking the backs of the little stamps).  I am also a “fuzz poacher”.  I watch, wait, and seek out fuzz and “dust bunnies,” for which I would like to lodge a protest. They should be named “dust kitties.”  My theory being kitties are more common than bunnies, especially in the home. It just makes sense.  I think I just digressed again.  So, putting food, etc., in my mouth these days just does not bring me a lot of joy.  Probably something to do with the mega colon diagnosis after the $560 in vet bills earlier this month. After all the trips to the vet, I know that car rides do NOT bring me joy.  Apparently, they do NOT bring anything close to joy to anyone inside the car, OR within range of the car. At least, that is what I have been told.  I like posing for the camera.  There is over 2,000 photos of me, on and off the internet.  I like wearing hats, but ONLY just for the camera. So, 2015, I am on a quest to find what brings me joy. Maybe it starts with gratitude? Maybe my joy will come from things I am grateful for? Maybe, like the phrase “charity begins at home,” joy also begins at home, at the heart of what we are grateful for. I wish I had some gum. Some blue gum I could chew and stick to the rug like I used to do before gum was banned from the house.  I felt like I accomplished something doing that. Hmmmm………more later………..T.W.

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